Life Before Dawn

4 Questions that Will Help You Find Patience
Find patience! Ever put in the effort and work to make your goals happen but no results? Maybe you are doing everything right except being patient.

4 Questions that Will Help You Find Patience

Patience Could be the Key to Your Success

Do you have huge goals and dreams? Do you feel like you are constantly waiting around to see results? Have you put in the effort and work with no visible results? Patience! Big important things take time!! It is crucial to take the right steps and do things the right way, but, sometimes no matter how hard you try it just takes time for it to happen.

Have you ever waited for a cup of coffee to brew and it feels like it takes forever? Or maybe you were hoping the love of your life would come along soon? Some times in life, there is not much you can do to hurry it along. You still have to wait for the coffee to finish so you don’t burn yourself and make a mess. Settling for the wrong person in a relationship leads to heartbreak on both sides because it was never going to work out. Patience is what you need. Patience is what is so hard to find sometimes when you just want to feel happy or check something off of your list right now.

So how do you find patience when it feels impossible? How do you build up a tolerance to that urgent feeling inside that wants you to push forward and “make it happen” even if you skip a few steps to get there? Here are some questions to ask yourself. Some considerations that can help you become mentally tough so you can survive the process with a positive attitude, and wait for the perfect timing.

1. What is Your End Goal?

Always Start at the End and Know What Result You Want.

What is the goal? What are you working towards that is so important? Close your eyes and picture what it feels like. Imagine your daily life when you have accomplished that goal? Will you have more energy to run and play with your kids because you started eating better? Maybe you are able to take a vacation because you paid off all of your credit card debt.

You obviously had a reason to start this journey. You need to spend some time really remembering what that reason was and believing that it is possible. Being patient with the process is much easier when you know it will pay off in the end!

In an article on Psychology Today, Judith Orloff, M.D., states this, “I’m defining patience as an active state, a choice to hold tight until intuition says, “make your move.” It means waiting your turn, knowing your turn will come. Once you’ve gone all out toward a goal, it entails trusting the flow, knowing when to let the soup boil.”

Patience does not mean you get to slack off, it does not mean you stop working. It means you are going all out towards a goal, and you will not be giving up on it. Even, if it takes a hot minute to happen. Remember the end result you want and don’t give up on it.

2. What are the Key Steps that Need to Happen to Achieve Your Goal?

Take a few minutes and brainstorm anything you can think of that will help you get to your main goal. Think of them as mile markers or checkpoints. The big events that lead to the main goal. When you break things down into smaller steps, it makes it easier to evaluate your progress so that you don’t feel like you are not moving forward at all. You need to see the big picture, but you also need to see the everyday details and goals so you don’t feel overwhelmed.

Guys, we can always take life lessons from Sesame Street. No matter your age. Sometimes it helps to simplify things and remember the basic rules we learned before life got so hard.

Story Time!

Let me get way too personal for a minute. In 2016 my husband and I had decided to make the move from Wyoming to Upstate NY to be closer to our families. My husband had a job that he liked in law enforcement and paid very well. We had a house and we were fairly comfortable. We were so excited to move home, me more than my husband.

I am the positive “it will all work out” kind of person. My husband was not so willing to leave a good job until he had one waiting in NY. He ended up getting multiple offers for truck driving positions which would pay well but was ultimately a stepping stone while he went through the testing process for some NY law enforcement positions.

I was of course so excited. Our house was on the market at the time so we moved to NY. We did not have a house or apartment because we were hoping our house would sell quickly. We lived with my amazing mother-in-law who put up with us for 6 months. It was a super hard time. She got to spend a lot of time with my daughter whom she missed from our living in Wyoming. However, anyone who has gone through the process and stress of hoping your house sells, and wanting to find your own place so you can feel settled understands that it is stressful.

Patience, Patience, Patience

My husband did not like his job and swapped two or three times to better jobs so that he was not gone for weeks at a time for work. It still was not the law enforcement job that he had been hoping for. The NY state law enforcement process is beyond slow. He had tested a year before we moved home from Wyoming and still he was on the list but they were on a hiring freeze due to budgets.

This was one of the harder times in our relationship. I felt like it was my fault for pushing moving home to a job he did not like. We sold our house but ended up losing money on it. My husband was amazing about sharing the responsibility for moving home as well, but ultimately I know we rushed it because he was trying to make me happy.

Have Basic Requirements and Follow Them

Break it down with me here guys. The goal: Move to Upstate NY to be near family. The big milestones:

  1. Sell the house! (It was not a time in the housing market where you simply “hope” it sells.)
  2. Law enforcement job offer.
  3. Find appropriate housing in NY

WE RUSHED IT. There were very clear steps we could have followed had we been patient. It would have saved us money, and probably a lot of stress on our marriage. We had a goal, but we skipped steps and the foundation started to crumble. There are times in life where taking a risk is a great thing and can help you make amazing progress. There are also times where you need to be realistic and wait for the appropriate timing. You need to decide what steps are absolutely crucial for you to follow in order to reach for your goals and have them be successful.

You need to trust and follow your gut instinct. Be excited and fired up! But, also listen to your gut when it tells you that the excitement will last a lot longer when you are patient and do things the correct way.

3. What Can You Control?

What are you able to do to prepare or ensure the best possible results? Let’s be honest, patience means waiting on things out of your control. This is not a comfortable place for almost everyone. We like to feel in control. So instead, find the things that you can control right now.

Are you trying to get a promotion or a better job? You cannot hurry the hiring process along. But, you can be prepared. Have your interview outfit ready. Google some practice interview questions and have some friends practice with you. Keep doing an awesome job where you are, maybe the hiring committee starts looking at your work or calling your current job for references. Don’t slack off.

Can you control how fast your metabolism goes and you lose weight? For the most part no. You may do everything right and still plateau and stop losing weight. What you can control, however, is to keep eating healthy and in a calorie deficit. You can continue to workout and move your body every day.

You are in Control of Deciding to Quit or Keep Pursuing Your Goals

That’s right, that is a choice you are making if you choose to quit instead of being patient. Remember the main goal you are striving for? Use that to stay strong and not give up. Find happiness in the fact that you are in control of something and you are doing your best.

The things that you can’t control are not worth your effort, stress, or anxiety.

Stop wasting your time on it. Focus on what you can do and the rest will fall into place however it was meant to.

4. What Are You Grateful For?

Enjoy the things you have in your life. Maybe you need to look back five or even ten years and realize how far you have come. How much has changed, How much hasn’t changed? What can you keep working on? Be grateful that you are alive today! Be grateful that you have the education and time to even concern yourself with a specific goal that you want to reach. Be grateful that you are able to afford the cellphone or computer and internet you are reading this with!

My husband and I are super different personalities! I am a firm believer in the concept that everything will work out for the best and when it is supposed to. My husband is way more pessimistic about things in general. I am not saying it is a bad thing, because we honestly balance each other out really well. However, sometimes he needs a firm reminder of how far we have come in the last five years. Goodness, even in the last year we have made progress. He needs a reminder that as long as our family is together it does not matter where we live or what we drive because we are so very grateful for each other.

Find Your Happy Place!

If you can find happiness and gratitude where you are on your life journey, you will find yourself less likely to rush and be impatient. It’s easier to be content waiting when you still appreciate where you are. If you are like me and always trying to find the silver lining, or maybe are struggling to find yours right now check out this article called Happiness Begins with Gratefulness. I wrote it because I truly believe always keeping a positive mindset and bringing that encouraging light to everyone around you is important.

Keep looking forward to the future, push for your goals and dreams, but enjoy the now. Enjoy your journey and your life. Maybe it takes you five years to get out of debt and be able to save to take that dream vacation. Don’t waste the next five years being anxious and worried about the outcome. Don’t spend five years being miserable that you aren’t in Alaska yet. Choose to enjoy your journey today.

Learn Patience With Practice

Obviously, Patience is not something you learn from an online post and you are set for life. It is a practice. It is a habit, and it is a mental state of mind. You need to remind yourself daily to be patient. Maybe, you need to think back on the times that you were patient and saw great results! Or, perhaps you can look back like I did and recognize a time that you weren’t patient and it made the road that much more difficult.

Let me be clear. You cannot change the past, I don’t want you looking back and regretting your decisions, you obviously cannot change that. However, you can make better choices moving forward! You can appreciate the lessons and personal growth you experienced going through that time period.

Never regret your past. Realize that those experiences helped you become the incredible individual you are today and that they are a part of you. There has to be a balance. You need to learn from your past, you need to enjoy your present, and you need to work hard at your future goals. If you want to see results and have success, you need to learn patience. Patience can become critical for your physical and mental well being when you release the stress and anxiety over the things you cannot control. When you start to understand that those important things can take time to develop, you will stop quitting on yourself and start believing instead.

Stay excited about life. Stay fired up about making progress. Focus that energy on what you control and improving your self. Patience with the big things.

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